Back to the Land...

...of the living! Since I last wrote, I've been pretty much flat on my back, and not in a good way. I'd already been sick for a week by then, and it's only been in the last few days I've been back on my feet, and I'm still pretty tired all in all. Whatever I had, it wasn't fun!

I'm not sure if that's the reason or not, but I've definitely been at a 'different' place since I've started getting better. I feel like I really hit rock bottom in all ways while I was sick; now, it's as if I'm more or less emotionally 'drained.' Just seems like there's nothing else to 'feel.' Weird. It's not so much that I'm 'not' depressed; I'm just sort of 'blank.' I think life is more 'in the moment' than it's ever been for me before...strange. Maybe it's just that after you're 'down' for so long, all you want to do once you're up is accomplish as much as you can. No more time to 'waste.'

At any rate, that's where I am at the moment, and it's a place I'd like to stay. And re 'him...' although it was hard having him around all the time, I'm thankful for his help, but now I don't feel much of anything beyond a little sad for him. More even for him than for me... I just hope I can stay in this place for the time being...it feels 'safe' here. A rather nice place to be...