The End of the Road

There are so many things you learn at the end of the road, but the most astonishing revelation is simply that there's no place left to run. You find yourself here, there, wherever it may have led you personally, and then it just stops. Brick wall. Point blank. Nada. Nowhere left to go. So then what do you do?

I am at that place, and I honestly have no idea how to answer the question. I am ill today, and I have to depend on the one person I don't want to depend on, the person I know I WON'T be able to depend on forever. Then what? Who will help me 'tend the guests' when I'm sick? Who will help me take care of this wonderful monstrous old house? Who can I call in the middle of the night when something unforeseen happens? Where does this road lead for one aging, uncertain, lost woman?

I pray, and yes, I do believe in a Universe where Love pervades and watches over me always. But I don't see a phone number listed by the name 'Love' in the book. So 'who ya gonna call?'

I want to believe the end of the road doesn't really end...that you simply have to turn in a different direction and go forward again. I'm just not sure you can do that until you've looked deep inside yourself and figured out how you got where you are to begin with. Because until you can do that, all roads are going to lead to the end. I know that I personally am looking, but I don't know that I've received any guidance yet about which way to turn. I hope, I wait, I pray, I cry, I scream, I beg, I yearn...Unfortunately, that's pretty much all you can do at the end of the road.