Small Graces

Yesterday did indeed turn out to be a good day. It was so wonderful to visit my neighbors and know that I have an open invitation to their 4th of July party from now till eternity! They had recently rescued a baby kitten, about 2 months old, black with traces of white, and it was just starting to develop that fat little belly that kittens get once they start eating real food instead of just milk. What a precious little treasure to hold, to play with, its tiny little teeth nipping at my fingers while I teased its belly! There is nothing quite so wonderful as a kitten!

Later, before I had to leave for home, one of my friend's gave me a precious gift. She told me how very much she admired the way I had handled my separation and divorce. She said she had been so impressed that I never 'trash talked' my husband, and that I'd shown amazing strength in the face of a very difficult situation. She said I should be 'proud of myself.' Her comments made me feel so good, and proud as well. Stronger, like maybe I really will make it through this. Of course, I don't think I've shown such strength with him, but she said the face I'd shown the public was one of courage. I'm glad for that, because I never wanted others to see me as a 'victim,' nor do I want to see myself this way. I really appreciated this positive feedback...so many times people don't say what they think, and this meant a lot.

After my friends arrived who had come to cook out at my house, we sat on the screened-in porch and had a lovely visit over glasses of wine and fresh basil, mozzarella, and tomato salad. Wonderful conversation and laughter. Our cookout didn't work out quite as expected because it turned out the propane tank was empty, but we quickly switched the plan to an inside meal. My friend's father grilled the steaks, I made the salad, and she had brought the dessert and fresh ears of corn. When we finished our dinner, we drove to the park and watched the fireworks, which were amazing as usual for such a small town.

Once home, they asked me to play my guitar for them before they headed home, so I played my 'best' and oldest known song, Puff the Magic Dragon. I've added a little touch of my own to it, and while I was nervous and messed up some, she thought my playing was improving. I hope it is, as I like playing for others sometimes, but mostly, right now, I like playing for myself. It gives my evenings a new routine to follow, and I believe I am definitely a person on routines.

All in all, it was a good day. Grief stayed at bay, and I felt blessed in that, and my life in our free country, my new life as a 'free' person.

Today, after the guests all left, I decided to truly enjoy a day of rest. I read, sat on the porch and enjoyed the great weather, journaled, napped, just had a lovely relaxing day, which I desperately needed. All is well.