Trapped...

Yesterday I was sitting on the screened-in back porch, eating lunch and thinking about nothing in particularly, and I looked up to see 3 DEER in my neighbor's yard! It's a big open yard, but this is, after all, TOWN, so at first I thought I must be losing my mind. (Not a far stretch...) Anyway, then I realized they were trapped, running around in circles, trying to find their way out. They couldn't seem to 'see' that the driveway was open with no gate, so they kept going back to the same corners of the yard, and finding themselves right back where they started. It was heartbreaking!

I called a neighbor on the other side and asked him to come and help me run them out of the yard. He did, and we managed finally to 'point' them in the right direction, and all three headed down the drive and across my front yard. One disappeared down the street somewhere, but the other two, unfortunately, went straight to my back yard. My friend and I ran around there, only to find the two of them trapped in a small wooden fenced-in area, trying to jump a fence that was much too high for them. He managed to open the gate and one ran out into the yard, and the other--poor thing had a bleeding mouth from banging it against the fence--headed down the drive. My friend chased Deer #3 across the yard and it jumped my pickett fence and was gone. I never could figure out where the three of them went--they just vanished at that point, but I hope they found their way OUT of town!

So, what an amazing metaphor for my life! Did the three of them show up to teach me a lesson? I'm sure they did--I do wonder why it took three instead of just one. Perhaps just to show me the craziness, maybe the 'pack' mentality. The first deer, upon escaping the yard, learned its lesson and ran back--hopefully--to safer ground. The second two just got themselves into a 'tighter' situation, and one them ended up really getting hurt. Hasn't that been the story of my life? Well, there's the 3--three marriages--running around and around and doing the same thing over and over again. Breaking free from the really bad one in the beginning, only to find myself going back to the same kind of man, putting myself in a world with no room for growth and no way out, beating my head against the wall trying to get free. Only hurting myself.

In the end, they all broke free. Isn't it time for me to do the same? To realize I'm a free spirit, and I don't belong in a place where I can't grow. If I can grow at the B&B, that's wonderful, and maybe I can, but I certainly wasn't growing in ANY of my previous relationships. It's time for me to claim my power and GROW. Now, where to begin?