Being Silenced

I feel I should try to write, and yet I'm not sure I have much to say today. It's not that I don't have a lot to say, but I'm being asked not to say it. Who would ask you not to express yourself, you ask, and my answer would be 'who wouldn't?' Evidently I am one of those people who expresses themselves 'to a fault,' and evidently this is not an asset to my character. Oh, it's not that I'm always spouting strong opinions, or negativities, or judgments, rather, I am a person who likes to share their feelings, and it appears a good majority of the people in the world either don't want to hear or misconstrue them...

The most immediate concern is figuring out how to no longer share my feelings with the person I've shared them with for the past 15 years. Because, according to our counselor, a business-only partnership is no place for 'feelings' or emotional interactions. And, through no particular fault of his own, my 'partner' can no longer share anything else with me. So, I must learn to 'stop the madness' of sharing...

Somehow I find that sad, and it leaves me feeling very lonely. Yes, the lesson for me may well be that I need to learn to rely on myself and not others, to keep my innermost thoughts, well, inner mostly. This I can strive to do, and yet, I wonder where it will lead. Will it lead to a deeper understanding of myself, a closer connection to Spirit? Or will it lead to being shut down and cut off from others?

I have no idea the answer to this. All I know is right now I am tired, and sad, and wondering where life will lead, and how solitude will suit me in the long run? But it's out of my hands, and so I wait, in silence.