Creating

I'm trying to find Evangeline again after a 'trying' few days. I feel I'm still on the emotional roller coaster and someone has disabled the 'off' switch so I just get to ride over and over and over. Roller coasters are great the first few times, but I've been on it WAY too long! I'm not having fun anymore.

But as I/Electra wrote on the 'mourning' blog, I've been reading a book that's given me some good things to think about, Laura Munson's, This is Not the Story You Think It Is. One of the things she did when she was going through the tough times, was to come up with a word to come back to in every moment of 'chaos.' My word for the year has been 'patience' which seems to help me in a general sense; but I think the word I need for the chaos is 'create.' I like the idea of turning to something--anything--creative when I start to do to the bad place. Today, for instance, I created 'space' in my house my cleaning the garage and getting rid of stuff. I created 'beauty' by rearranging the outdoor furniture and painting the chipped boards on the floor of the screened porch. I created a harmonious atmosphere for my guests. I created an opportunity to finish my Kouns' book by finding Nathan's poem and doing some Internet research. When you look at things this way, there are ALWAYS opportunities to create.

I can feel myself wanting to slip at every moment. I don't know if I'm making progress or just treading water. But I've gotten a lot done today, and that's what's important. There's nothing like a sense of accomplishment to make a person feel better. That's what Evangeline thinks, at least. And today, it's all about her. ;)