Personas

A young friend of mine shared an interesting insight with me yesterday. He said that each morning, instead of asking himself what he wants to wear today, he asks, 'who do I want to be today?' Since he loves to dress in 'costume,' you might find him being a wide variety of different characters from one day to the day. I love this about him, and the fact that a grown man still has fun 'dressing up.'

But his comment got me thinking about 'ego' and the 'stories' we tell ourselves about who we are. If everything is really just a 'story' then why not change the cover of the book when you feel like it, even if you feel like changing it every single day?! Why not create a persona that fits your mood, or your plans for the day, or simply the fact that you feel like 'being' someone totally different from who you were yesterday?

I decided to give the practice a try today, and I asked myself first thing, 'who do I want to be today?' I have to admit I didn't know. Then later, when I finally got to the closet, I realized the few extra pounds I've put on meant half the clothes in my closet don't fit at the moment. So does that mean I have to be 'Miss Piggy' for the day? I hope not, because I don't have the 'pig' outfit. What I finally decided on was a 70s paisley print shirt, funky 70s earrings, and spiky hair. (I'm afraid I'd not brave enough to add the bright streaks to my hair like my friend does--however, that might make me more 'now' than 70s!) At any rate, my chosen attire certainly isn't bold enough for anyone to truly notice anything different, but at least I'm aware of taking a step back in time for a second, re-capturing for just an instant my own younger days, when paisley prints and big hoop earrings were the trend, not the retro; when going with the flow was a lot more important than going against it.

That's what I love about my young friend. He's not afraid to go against the flow and be his own person. His wife and friends are the same. I wish I'd had such courage when I was younger. I held back so much because I was afraid. I let dreams slip away because I thought I'd somehow fail. I didn't know you can't ever fail; you can only 'not do.'

So now I'm doing as much as I can. Maybe my life isn't all I'd like it to be right now, but it's the only life I have. It's happening moment to moment and I have to let it evolve on its own. Right next to my desk, on my 'vision board,' are the words 'Can you say dress up?' There's a picture of a girl on a carousel, another girl on a swing, and a Unicorn. Can you say 'fun?' Can you say 'what next?' Can you say 'who do I want to be today?' Who will I be tomorrow? I say 'let me mystery unfold.'