Dancing & Goddesses

Wow--it looks like I haven't been here for a while, but I do think Electra wrote once or twice. Last week was her kind of week--Evangeline seems more in charge of this one! Probably has a lot to do with the dancing!

Follow me here...I'm digressing a bit from my intended topic...On Monday, just when I felt like I couldn't stand another minute of being by myself, a friend I have tea with from time to time called and invited me to a late tea or an early happy hour. Since I had been just about to open a bottle and start my own, I jumped at the chance to get out. Okay, he's gay, so there is no romance going on here (unfortunately!) but we ended up spending pretty much the entire evening dancing to 80s music, me in a plaid jacket and a Fedora. I can't remember the last time I had such fun dancing--or doing anything else for that matter, but it was great!

Anyway, between that and the irony that my 'anachronist' friend recently suggested I not only try on some different personas but also that I put on a Fedora and dance--I've felt more my own person for the past couple of days. Like maybe I will find someone inside that I'd forgotten about, and maybe I'll actually like her.

Which brings me to the idea of Goddesses... I had this weird 'revelation' today, like a voice in my head that just piped up and reminded me that men are such fragile creatures but we women are Goddesses and they need us for their completion. They 'think' they need us for sex and procreation, but really, they need us so that they can connect with their spirits. Back in ancients days, when temple Goddesses held power, men went to them for just that reason. They believed the sexual union was a way of uniting with Spirit, and back then, women danced for men, rather than with them. A friend of mine was telling me recently of the idea that later, men were supposed to act as the 'frame' for women in the dance. I can't help but wonder if this was yet another way of keeping women from remembering the power they once had, not so much over men, but just in general? We certainly seem to have become 'subjugated' somewhere along the way, and truly, the idea is that we see ourselves as equals, reflections, yin-yang.

All this to say that when I danced, I remembered who I was before I gave my power away to a man. I never meant to give it up, in fact I don't think I even realized that I had, but now, I can see quite clearly that I did just that in order to be loved and accepted. I tried to be what hewanted rather than who I really was. I sold out. But at least I have a chance to find 'me' again, to re-learn the dance, to hold tight to who I am this time, and be a Goddess.