Who Am I? Part II--Beyond Batty

Today's 'pain' has become physical, which is interesting. My ring fingers on both hands ache terribly, and according to Louise Hay's book, this is indicative of grief and broken unions, and the affirmation is 'I am lovable.' Of course, Evangeline knows she is lovable, but even she doesn't get to escape the ravages of grief, mental or physical. I'm dealing with it.

I've been exploring more about bat symbolism. Bats are extremely aware of their surroundings and may be overly sensitive to the feelings of others. Electra has this quality but I don't think she's always been able to intuitively separate the feelings that are hers versus those of the other person. I'm hoping my 'bat-tuition' will help Evangeline do better in that regard as well as seeing through 'illusion.' Holy Reality, Bat Woman, that Fairy Tale nearly bit our butt off! Let's get in our butt-mobile and show Prince Charming what we're really made of!!!

So what AM I really made of? I was reading a blog today about the idea that we are not our 'stories,' and yet sometimes it's good to take those aspects of ourselves that we do like and use them to 'sculpt' our plot. I like that idea, and it got me thinking about what aspects of myself I'd like to keep while Evangeline is developing some new ones of her own. I do like being a sensitive person, but I don't want to be an idiot about it either. I think it's important to be careful about the kind of person I get close to, because those without a similar sensitivity will more than likely walk all over me every time they get the chance. I like being a creative person, and I wish I would give myself permission to excel at that. I'd like to realize that by allowing myself to be a channel for creativity, all my life's desires will be granted without my having to do one thing. Simply surrender to the outcome.

I'd like to believe that no matter what happens to me, I will always pick myself up and survive. My heart may be breaking, but I will walk through it to the other side, even when I know that side will never be the end of heartache. I'm working on this belief; it's a new one. I'd like to believe there really IS a soul mate for me, and he is out there somewhere, hoping he will find me too. Where we meet, joy will live.

I'm starting with these, and hopefully my list will grow. At the moment however, I have to go and prepare tea for a friend who lost her husband recently--to death, the finalizer. She is a cheerful upbeat older woman, and I am looking forward to being the recipient of her wisdom.